Of course this would be my second structured post about break ups and silly relationship stuff. But, the first one was a year ago so this is more of an update... kind of like a “Where are they now” episode.
Breakups are a (enter depressing or sad description) (ie. stinky fart bubble, bad Rosanne tweet, sad YouTube video of soldiers coming home to their dogs.) (my examples were bad lol breakups are a bitch) ...and that will probably never change. When I was first going through this experience that we call a “breakup” I remained as optimistic as I could. I took everything with a grain of salt. Emotionally you are in a state of disbelief which causes you to do a lot of things that could end up leading to regret or deniability. I was scared to venture out, everything has a memory attached to it. You’ll walk by street benches and be like “oh that’s where we did this”. Or. You’ll be driving and a song will come on and the imprint of something you two had experienced will flash in front of you. I started to learn that you shouldn’t back down from venturing out, because having these flashes are deliverered to you for a good reason. Which leads me to the title of this one; CARRY ON & how to see through negative situations to the positive outcome which they hold.
So fresh out of the gate of a breakup there is something I would recommend, a recipe if you will.
The FIRST steps of a bad breakup:
You will need (ingredients):
- 1 or 2 Best Friend(s)
- 1 Mommy/Momma/Mother/Mom/Perfect Women/Hero (or whatever else you call your mom)
- A Hobby
- Music that you secretly like but when it comes on during a shuffle you fit in with the group and scream “NEXT!” when you hear the intro
- A job or profession that allows you to sneak away and cry at least three times a day
Directions:
- Put all ingredients into an crock pot that you found on Amazon (that looked really cool in the picture and you made a promise that when you bought it you would use it “...all the time!” but you have only used it twice and both times the food was just, “eh”) on Medium heat for 3-6 weeks.
A Lesson Built Into Every Situatuon:
I subconsciously started to raise a wall of emotion that I wasn’t exactly aware of, until now. Breakups are kind of inevitable, I mean when you engage in a relationship there are really only two outcomes, 1) You don’t break up, OR, 2) You break up. Lol, now I understand that’s a stretch there is a lot more that goes into than just those two outcomes.
I saw a meme the other day that I thought was kind of funny. And before I continue, why is it called a “meme”? Wtf does that mean and how did it get that name? Okay here’s the meme... (LOL, I understand it’s pronounced “MEEM”, but while I was writing this I was saying “ME-ME” in my head because that’s what it looks like).
And now I just realized that it wasn’t even a meme at all it’s just a picture. So disregard everything about the meme above. Unless you know the answer to those questions.
The truth in this picture is a little deeper than you may think. I believe that it separates two branches on the same tree.
I’ll explain...
Super stretched analogy time. .. (hold on, and use your imagination)
Now imagine a tree is a relationship, and I don’t exactly mean a loving relationship, I mean any relationship. Friends, family, lovers or dogs. Because we can never forget about dogs.
Now imagine a fully bloomed and sprouted tree is that of a fully successful relationship. What does it take to get to that point.
- You have to start with a good foundation, meet someone with good intentions.
- Make sure that before you engage in a relationship you make yourself and other(s) aware of what your intentions may be.
- Communication = Water, the key to growth. Communication is the most important part to any relationship. Talk talk talk.
- PLANT YOUR SEED ;) (puns)
- The trunk of your tree needs to be strong and bold, this will represent the faith and honesty of your relationship and it needs to be strong to hold all of the adventures and memory’s your about to stack upon it.
- A branch is exactly that, a new portion of your tree, a new adventure if you will.
- A leaf is a memory attached to every branch.
Now grow your trees , remember how important water is to your tree and take care and protect your trunk. And at all costs avoided the big bearded sweaty man with an axe, he’s a douche, literally. Avoid the douche he wants to cut your tree down and he doesn’t care about how many other trees he will knock down in the doing. He’s got a tiny axe anyway.
Now I am a firm believer that deep within everything there is a lesson to learn. Negativity surrounds us everywhere we walk and within everything we do. I think it would be impossible to wake up and complete an entire day where we don’t encounter some type of negativity. And this has taught me to learn something that I wasn’t very good at in my younger years, sympathy. When you deal with someone who is angry, frustrated or mad it’s easy to avoid that person or try and separate your feelings from them. But I have learned as a best practice is to learn about what’s causing them to feel the way they do, sympathize that they might be going through something far more difficult then what we see on the outside which is portrayed as negativity.
Look deep within yourself when your in these moments of sadness or anger, you could come off and elude negativity and I think we could all agree that this place we call home could be a little better if people weren’t so mad all the time.
Mac Miller - 2018
This was something that really struck home with me, a lot of different emotions surrounded me on the day I heard of his passing. I was actually a little late hearing about it because I was tied up at work. But I had received a call from my mom, and she’s simply asked “did you hear?” And I said “no... about what?”, “Mac Miller died, and I know how much you looked up to him and liked him, I’m sorry”. And I loved Mac Miller for many reasons, I wasn’t a fan of some of his newer music. But he was undoubtedly one of the most positive souls that was able to shed light for the short time he was here physically and his music and positive outlook will continue to shine on forever. He was one of those people that you could just tell that if you were able to spend an entire day with him he would be cool, he would be relaxed and as much like a normal person as you or I are. Who is your “Mac Miller?” who is the person that you wish you could spend a day with?
“They’re gonna try to tell you no, shatter all your dreams. But you gotta get up, and go and think of better things.” - Mac Miller
How Long Should A Breakup Impact You:
This was a something that kind of stuck out within the last year. I was asked this question, or I asked someone this question when I was down, looking for a quick resolution or an answer to a question that isn’t even relevant to ask. I read an article that gave me this answer and I wasn’t pleased with the answer lol. It stated that for every year you were with your significant other it should only take you 2-3 months per year you had been together to “get over” them and it was quickly after I read this article where I found zero value to that answer. Trying to devalue the worth of your relationship is never a way to combat things. Which brings me back to what I was talking about before, memories are scattered all over and you’ll find yourself trying to avoid certain places or things and I challenge you to seek that discomfort and learn from it.
You won’t laugh at the same punchline of a joke twice because you learn the punchline and when someone tells you the joke again you’re prepared. So learn about this place that your avoiding so that when it comes back to you, you know how to handle it.
The Long Story Short:
You’ll never be able to avoid negativity, it surrounds us. Learn on how to handle negative situations so that you can see, feel and hear the positive outcome. Even on the darkest days, the sun will find a way to shine through. Surround yourself with good people and good times. Always remain positive because the people around you could use your energy to feel better.
The Long Story Short 2:
Dont be a bearded man with an axe.
Thank you for allowing me to get these words out. This is my hobby in the recipe on how to handle a breakup. You are my outlet.
B