Let me just start by saying that this is not directed towards anyone that I know personally, I know a lot of people that are the complete opposite of what I am about to say. This is just an opinion and observation of what I see, and of course past experiences.
Love is such a sticky biscuit, when we find someone that we start to indulge in, we make the brave move to make things exclusive which then turns into what we call a relationship. If we can even call it that. I am a true fan of love and people that can truly have a relationship with one another. But, in this day in age... it’s sad and scary. We live in a soceity where a normal and real relationship is almost non-existent.
SOCIAL FUCKIN MEDIA—
Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat (lol MySpace) or whatever platforms you are on are literally relationship killers. Like to the fullest extent of the word murder. It’s a look into the extravagant things in your own life and that alone, all day long you can post about your new fancy watchamacallit.
“Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat, wouldn’t you think my collections complete” - Ariel
Blah blah is in a relationship with blah blah, (& blah blah like this).
Can you believe that we use Facebook as a thing to verify someone else’s status? Something we say is, “Facebook Offical”. Meaning this person that we started dating is such a big part of my life that I need to make sure my 800 friends know about them and once it’s Facebook offical, it’s a real relationship. It’s flawed.
Snapchat, the guy who designed Snapchat is brilliant. Don’t get me wrong I love Snapchat (rrredle 👈🏿) but the idea behind what it is. Is scary. While I was in my last relationship my significant other and I made the choice to delete the app all togther. We didn’t need for all of the possibilities of what could come from it. There is too much that can go on without there being some sort of proof, and that causes confusion and worry. You can have a full blown conversation with someone, and no one would ever know.
Snapchats slogan should be:
“We know you’re in love, so let’s help ruin that, just make sure you snap it so everyone else can see”
Its amazing that we live in a world where there first thing we do when we see something beautiful or do something fun, is to make sure everyone else knows about it. “Oh a pretty sunset” *Snap* ‘...My Story’.
Oh and before I get too far into this. I am one of these people that also does these things.
I know I have talked about this before, but... come on with the concert snaps. We have all been to a concert, and we have all heard that song on the radio. The last thing we need is a 45 minute Snapchat story of terrible quality music and Margret in the background yelling “where’s the bathroom?”.
Put your phone down, drink your beer and enjoy what you’re doing. Imagine how much fun a concert would have been back in the early days.
Okay im getting off topic.
I remember seeing and hearing about a girlfriend getting mad at a boyfriend because he had changed his profile picture to a picture of just him. As if it wasn’t HIS profile picture. I understand the reasoning behind having your significant other in pictures with you, but isn’t the entire reason behind a profile picture is that it’s a picture of just you lol?
I still believe that the most successful relationship are the ones that are off of the grid, the people that can keep all of the surprises and success of their relationship off of social media. It amplifies the true love behind what you are trying to accomplish. What happens when you surprise send your girlfriend flowers, just because. She immediately takes a pictures, and in bright big letters says: “Oh my god he is so perf.” But what it actually says is “everyone look at how hard we are trying to show everyone that my boyfriend and I are cute, even though all my girlfriends think he is a d bag and Vanessa saw him making out with another girl last weekend, but it’s okay we’re going to act like everything is okay”.
Next time that a big surprise like this happens, try to keep it off of social media. The reason that he sent you flowers was because he wants you to get that little feeling in your stomach, and that feeling is for you and for you only. Nobody else needs to know.
Temptation—
We live in a world filled with it, with temptation. It surrounds us on a second by second basis. It’s so easy to put yourself out there, compared to the past. If you find a man or a women attractive, it takes two seconds to let them know that. Now one thing that I dislike about our generation is that we give a groovy little name for small things that we do. Aside from “Facebook offical” another saying that I hate is, “sliding into DM’s”. WTF, who came up with that name. But the idea behind it can be an amazing tool to meet new people. Or, it can be a vehicle of destruction.
We live in a world where guys don’t care if women are taken or in a relationship. If he finds her attractive it takes two seconds to send her a message. Now, I’m not saying that every girl who gets DMs is cheating like Tom Brady. But it’s brings up the question of temptation. I have seen some of the DMs in a girls phone before, and it’s literally mind blowing some of the things guys will say to try and get attention.
A girl gets a DM while she’s dating someone, and at first she will shrug it off and it won’t mean anything, but then it happens again, and again. And the guys become more clever. The guys have better smiles and bigger abs. And as time continues and the DMs continue, subconsciously it can ruin you. Because it causes you to think and second guess yourself. If this guys is trying to talk to me than maybe I can do better than what I have now. That is the definition of millennial temptation.
Have you ever seen a relationship from a far where THAT certain girl likes a picture of a guy, and the girlfriend goes into freak mode.
Girlfriend: “Why’s that bitch liking your picture?”
Boyfriend: “Babe, idk, she’s my friend”
Dating Apps—
Actually you know what, don’t even get me started and this waste of space on a phone.
Avoiding Confrontation—
I think if there was one thing that we could work on as an entire group of people it would be, how to engage in a hard conversation. We struggle to seek out and have these difficult conversations that are usually needed to be had.
Now here we go back to another saying that we have a created. Get ready for it, this is a fun one, GHOSTED.
How many people do you know where they’re in a situation; where towards the end of it, it gets extremely complicated. So instead of the situation concluding or getting resolved the situation just goes invisible and poof it’s magically gone.
Its these difficult conversations that can create love and genuine feeling. Have you ever had those conversations with someone where you can get everything off of your chest, and the person your talking to can do the same. It’s such a refreshing and true feeling. So why would we try and ghost that feeling, ghosting is only doing one thing, it’s causing confusion and hurt. If you have something to say, say it. Be blunt, be honest and real.
The Long Story Short—
We live in a world where there is so much to accomplish, our friends and family stand on a platform with us and will defend us until the end. The tools and things that we use everyday were created by people such as us. Everything begins with an idea, an idea of what it can become. So the next time you meet someone, use the same mentality. What can this become, and what can I do to make it so. Be real, be positive and don’t let that wall you have built up control what you do. There are good people out there. Take your eyes of your phone and live.