It's heartbreaking that we have deluded what we think true love really is.
I don't think it’s fair for people to self-proclaim themselves as something or anything for that matter; but I would like to think of myself as a defined "hopeless romantic". I believe in true love, I think it’s okay for a man to fall in love with a women so hard that he would rather spend his weekend watching Hocus Pocus and making cookies from scratch, than going out with the boys and waking up at noon.
I honestly hate that we live in a world where the dating/single life trumps true love, our lives are designed around advertisements and falsified truth. We are always told that there is something better to have had, whether it’s something as simple as the new dessert item on the Olive Garden menu (OMG those bread sticks!) or something as complicated as a relationship. There is always a new 'thing' that’s coming out right around the corner and as terrifying as it sounds it subconsciously makes us second guess what we already have and love.
"ohhh I want to dance with somebody, I want to feel the heat with somebody, yeah I want to dance with somebody, with somebody who loves me"
If you're lucky, I believe that you will get to MEET the love of your life. You'll get to spend those waking moments with them, going to the grocery store and argue about what coffee creamer will taste better. You'll get to go to the furniture store and pick out a new couch that will bring your living room together. You'll get to create memories in the moment that you didn't think would impact your life so greatly. You will fall for this person where your days consist of this one person, you'll dream of what fortune you two can create together.
You'll see a movie trailer of some silly 'lovey dovey' movie and you'll look at each other and she will have the look in her eyes that screams "OMG, will you please go with me", because you're a man you'll laugh at her because there’s no way that you'd be caught in a movie theater by one of your friends seeing a movie called "Ocean Waves Never End". Secretly all you care about is sitting in a cold dark room watching a movie with that person. Not giving a care in the world to what movie is actually playing, she'll sit next to you and you will casually put your hand on her leg, and you'll feel at home and comfortable because you're somewhere with someone that you want to be with. Although it’s not the newest superhero movie that you wanted to see, its something that she wants, and as long as you’re with her doing something she wants to do, it's okay. The credits will roll, of course she will have tears in her eyes because the movie ends with a dog dying, on the way home you make a surprise stop, you tell her to wait in the car. You run inside TJ Maxx and find the softest and flufiest socks you can find. When you get home you tuck her into bed and play with her hair and find videos on YouTube of the actor dog that died in the movie. You tell her "babe, the dog is fine, he's an actor dog and he was just playing his part, he is alive and he still barks at every squirrel that he sees".
"Some people can love you more in a year than others could love you in fifty; some people can teach you more within in a single day than others could teach you over the course of your lifetime."
Sadly, this is the real world, and as beautiful as love is it will not conquer all. Sometimes you don't get to spend the rest of your life with 'the love of your life'. There is so much more to 'love' then just love itself.
We live in a world filled with new opportunities and with new opportunities comes separation and difference. We are growing up every minute of every day. Sometimes the biggest most loving thing you can do is let each other go. Sometimes you can see that your aspirations have grown from that person. But the most beautiful part of growing away from the love of your life is that they were the one influence on your life that made you grow that way. They were the person that told you to go back to school, or they told you that you should become a chef, photographer or musician.
"...not ending up with the love of your life does not disqualify their significance"
Some people make an appearance in our life just at the right moment. They can only be in our life for months or even days, but they can make an impact that no one else ever has. They can sit and talk with you and just say a few words that might spark an entire idea that could change your life forever. Who are we to call those people anything but the 'love of our lives'.
We don't meet anyone by accident, there is a plan somewhere for our paths to cross. Be grateful that you got to meet these people, the people in our life that made an impact on who we are. When it comes down to it, there is no such thing as a soulmate or a 'love of your life'. It was something created out of a fairytale and I'm sorry to say that this is the real world and things like that don't exist. But, do you know what does exist? True love. True and honest love, someone that you can be proud of. Someone that, no matter the circumstances, you will fight for. Stop soul searching and start meeting new people, I bet that there is someone out there in need of something you can offer.
I bet you can make an impact on someone else's life.
The long story short:
You're not always going to end up with the love of your life, and thats okay. Take pride in knowing that you've met them, you've learned with them and you've grown with them. Because of that you are the person who've you become now and no one can ever change that. After all change takes time, and time is all it takes.